Wednesday, December 17, 2008
No One Stops Jason Bourne, No One Stops Matt Damon
From the desk of Matt Damon, DDS-
Now, I know what you are thinking: I don't even have to say it. Of course Jason Bourne is the greatest. Of course he can't be stopped. Of course my performances are nuanced and subtle and could quite possibly re-imagine the way action roles are written, performed, and conceived. What am I thinking? Well, I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I see these new James Bond films with their fancy Paul Haggis scripts and, you know, I'm not worried. No. No! I'm not worried at all. I only think I should get something straightened out before we can all go back to praising Paul Greengrass' innovative use of hand-held cinematography for action sequences. It's something I've been saying all along: Jason Bourne could kick James Bond's ass. I've made it nice and simple for everyone in a list and I think you'll all thank me later.
1. He gets points for being American. I mean, are we seriously supposed to believe a nancy Brit could beat up, even in his nancy dreams!, a 100% born, raised, and bred American bad-ass with comprehensive CIA training? Come on...As if! The first thing they teach you in screenwriting school, not that I went or anything, is believability. There has got to be some reality to your story. So, you know, a film where James Bond defeats Jason Bourne is just fundamentally wrong. It is inaccurate. Good. I'm glad we've got that settled.
2. Paul Haggis is Canadian!!! Can a Canadian write kick ass action scenes? No way but...well, before I get into any reasons let me just say: Paul Haggis can eat the haggis I've got right here (I'm grabbing my crotch, just so you know, and I'm nodding my head). I mean, Tony Gilroy and W. Blake Herron are just masters of the long-form action sequence. Masters. Sure, Paul Haggis has his oscars and his homo-beach parties on the strip, but Herron is one of the unsung heroes of action film writing. I mean, if I had actually gone to film school I'm sure there would have been an entire class devoted just to his early works. I take Herron over Haggis any day.
3. Robert Ludlum could kick Ian Fleming's ass.
4. When I wrote Good Will Hunting with Ben Affleck with relatively no formal training we both agreed "These characters have got to be GOOD. I mean, really fucking good." You know, we didn't win an Oscar for having Will Hunting shoot down Russian fighter jets, drink martinis, and sleep with a hundred German language tutors in one film. Instead, we said to ourselves, "Listen. Let's flesh this guy out. Let's make him round. Let's get to his fuckin' CORE." That's what we did and, hey, we won a fuckin' Oscar. I've got it. I can show you. And that's what I'm sayin' about Jason Bourne. This fuckin' guy...this fuckin' guy is round. Man! Let me tell you. He's got all this shit going on with his memory, and his fucking idenity, and his fucking parents, and even some latent homosexuality if I read between the lines right. I mean, the guy is intense. There is a lot of shit going on in his head. Not like Bond, though Haggis has down some nice stuff. Not like Bond who doesn't have feelings and shit. Bourne is believable! Going into American Embassies and disarming whole SWAT teams...That's all believable stuff because, you know, the CIA trained him and everything.
Now your welcome. No problem. No problem at all. Jason Bourne is the best and I am right and I know I didn't have to go to the trouble I just thought I should.
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