Tyler Perry Single-Handedly Disproves Basis of Capitalism

HOLLYWOOD—With the impending release of the latest installment in the Madea franchise, Madea Goes to Jail, writer/director Tyler Perry has irrevocably cast doubt on the conceptual and practical undergirding of the capitalist system. According to the once-thought immutable laws of supply and demand, consumer demand for a particular good or service accounts for the very existence of that good or service, while determining its widespread or limited availability. The ubiquity—in a glut of maudlin, unfunny movies over the last few years—of Perry’s favorite character, Madea, without any corresponding public affinity for her, completely contradicts the aforementioned laws.

“What we’re seeing here is a contravention of hundreds of years of capitalism,” says Gerhard Mortimer, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago. “Every once in a while an independently-wealthy maverick will bypass supply-demand strictures and force his product or half-baked vision on the public. But the system always rights itself; consumer demand will respond to those efforts by either embracing or crushing them. What we have here, however, is utterly perplexing.”

Other economists have moved beyond trying to explain what has come to be known as “The Perry Phenomenon” and are making predictions—mostly apocalyptic—for the future. “It’s not a matter of quality,” says Boston University economist Humphrey Lee. “You knew those step-dancing movies Hollywood kept making were awful, but you also knew that an equally awful part of our population was seeing those movies. There is no indication that anyone, anywhere has any desire to see these Madea movies.

“The capitalist system as we know it, based on supply and demand, has collapsed. The doors have opened for the production of unbelievably asinine products for phantom consumers. We’re not far away from some, I don’t know, reverse bathrobe being produced and marketed to us as some sort of new age blanket. Just watch. What? Are you serious???”